she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
