I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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