I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
