ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
