I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
