remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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