Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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