I want to walk on stilts...naked
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
