why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
