Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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