O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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