Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
