i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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