I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
