READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
