my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
