normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize