dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
