the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
