a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize