I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
