i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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