Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
