i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
