I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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