Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
