just come out here and I will go home with you...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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