I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
