Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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