Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
