Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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