whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
