it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
