Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
