she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
