Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
