i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize