Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am naked and annoyed.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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