Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
