You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
