Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize