Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
