She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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