Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
