if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
