Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
