you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's just like the Real World with babies
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
