You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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