Kiss
Puke
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize