ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
