Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
