I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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