I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
