Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
