I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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