please come you make the beer taste better
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
