Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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