yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
