I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
