Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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