Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
